Let Go of Negativity and Find Your Peace
I’m going to share with you a personal goal of mine that I’ve had for quite sometime, and will probably take a lifetime to achieve. My goal is to nurture my continued growth by working through old patterns and behaviors that no longer work for me. I have made changes to my mindset, my lifestyle, and increased my awareness around these patterns and behaviors that I wish to change. One of the big changes I made, eighteen months ago, was that I decided to take a hiatus from drinking alcohol.
This decision turned out to be a great one! Removing alcohol from the life helped me to more clearly identify and move past obstacles that were keeping me from being more aware. Drinking was aiding me in being disconnected with myself. A nightly glass (or two) of wine to wind down after a busy day was hindering my ability to recognize reactionary behaviors that I needed to let go of in order to expand my consciousness. The benefit of the wind-down was no longer worth the hinderance to my continued self-development.
There is always a gift to be grateful for when a personal challenge is overcome, from our increased ability to recognize behaviors that we would like to change, evolving from being reactive into being responsive, or being more connected to other people. My choice to stop drinking (for the time-being) has allowed me to experience life, and other people, more consciously.
Recently, my new-found awareness was tested! I attended a social event where everyone was bragging about my talent for being a great drink mixer. I soon found myself making up cocktails for friends… and I nailed it! So, more people started asking for me to make them a drink, too.
A woman, with whom I was not previously aquatinted, made her way over to me and commented that no personal trainers drink, and that she was astounded that I was making drinks for others to consume!
Now, I have to tell you, judgement had me in a bit of a fog for hours. I was so caught up in her words that I momentarily forgot my newfound awareness and my desire to always be expanding my consciousness. How did I snap out of it? How did I find my way back to responsiveness and compassion? Here’s the answer: I got still. I did a little self check, and reflected on the events, her words, and how I was feeling.
A short meditation later, everything became clear. I realized that her judgement towards me was her issue, NOT mine. She may have had some displaced criticisms about herself that she projected onto me in that moment. Or maybe she has an ill relative that is causing her to be overly stressed. Whatever the reason, her comments had nothing at all to do with me personally. So why hold onto that negativity?
Remember, we engage in relationships with people all day long. It could be a brief moment when you order a meal in a restaurant, or longer periods, like sitting down and having a business meeting. You can choose to make these moments life-enhancing for yourself, and for other people, too. And you can do this by being aware of your own triggers.
Did somebody say something to you that caused you to have negative thoughts? Just note that in your mind. Explore your feelings when the time is right for you. Then, let go of the negativity and move on.
Now, take this scenario one step further. Imagine that you are 100 percent in an interaction with someone. You are present, truly listening, and responding. Your presence is so authentic and genuine, that what you share with the other person is completely based on THEIR needs. You have given a great gift to that other person – your presence. And, if you show up fully, most likely so will the other party. The gift of their presence is then given back to you. You have created a loop of light and positivity!
You have a choice. You can either be a sponge, absorbing everyone else’s problems, or you can add a filter and awareness to your interactions. You have the ability to choose the input you wish to absorb from others. I choose to only absorb that which resonates with me and my highest good and to only use sponges for doing the dishes!
Today, as you are interacting with others, choose to filter out or filter in the input that works for you, or take a neutral stance. If someone says something that pushes your buttons, remember, it is not about you. Connect on a deeper, more caring level with as many people as you can and give the gift of your presence to spread joy!